Memory Making

The moment our pregnancies are confirmed we begin a journey of creating lasting memories with our babies. We make these memories through our babies’ precious lives and when a baby dies, we can also continue to create memories too. 

Some parents may feel unsure and find the initial suggestion of making memories with a baby who has died scary. Parents who do participate in memory making find these precious moments can be invaluable later in our journey. 

Cuddle cots are a special cooling pad which is placed in a Moses basket, crib or cot, it is then connected to a special insulated hose quietly cooling baby and this prolongs the amount of time we can spend with our babies.

The following offers some ideas you may wish to use, if you prefer not to that’s ok too. Sometimes we may want to ask nursing staff or loved ones to support us to do specific memory making that we might not feel able to do ourselves. It may be helpful to know that many of these ideas aren’t entirely limited to the time we spend in hospital, a hospice or at home but are things that may be possible to do right up to the funeral of a baby. 

 

You may wish to capture these moments using photos and videos.

 

  • Doing hand and footprints & castings, drawing around baby’s hands and feet

  • Drawing around baby’s profile to remember how big he/she is

  • Placing your wedding ring or other special piece of jewellery in baby’s hand or rested on baby

  • Laying baby on or wrapping baby in a special blanket, shawl or item of your clothing

  • Choosing an outfit for baby to wear now, later you may want to choose a different outfit for baby’s funeral and keep the first outfit described

  • Bathing and dressing baby, you may like to use your own towel and sponge and keep them once they have dried

  • Have a lock of baby’s hair, you may like to take a lock of your hair to be kept with baby too

  • Reading a story to baby, a poem or singing a lullaby or special song

  • Telling baby family stories, secrets, and your hopes and dreams

  • Writing to your baby 

  • Skin to skin contact 

  • Playing special music 

  • Having a blessing performed

  • Having professional photos taken 

Follow on to the next page for 'Making Memories with siblings'